I received this copy from NetGalley (UK) as a digital advanced readers copy. The synopsis stated: “A novel of self-discovery following a Palestinian-American girl as she navigates queerness, love addiction and a series of tumultuous relationships.” And they had me at Palestinian-American.

So the first thing that I noted is that I don’t know the protagonist’s name. I honestly don’t think it was ever mentioned. It is written in the first person POV and so there really is no real need for the protagonist’s name to be mentioned, but I love how she set up all the opportunities for her name to be mentioned in such a seamless way that I didn’t notice until I had to determine if this book was autobiographical or fiction.

According to Goodreads and Google Books, it is fiction. However, based on the author’s bio, there is a possibility that her own life inspired a part of this book. The protagonist is a young Palestinian-American woman who is seeking approval from her mother whilst struggling to reconcile all the parts that make her who she is, her culture, her religion and her sexuality.

The book starts with her living a content life, about to begin her post-grad in writing in the Mid-West when her relationship implodes in on her and her mother stops speaking to her. In an act of desperation, she seeks help from a recommended rehab for love addiction and it is on this new journey that we start to see some of her layers unfold.

The book is written in the present moving forward in time and includes flashbacks to pivotal moments in her life that have shaped who she is today and explain why she reacts the way she does. I found that initially, I couldn’t care less about the protagonist, believing that her troubles were her own fault but by the middle of the book, I found myself rooting for her, hoping that she would find the love she so desperately sought. This for me is the beauty of Zaina’s writing, in that you can find yourself instantly judging the protagonist but in just a few chapters you can see yourself in her and begin to resonate with her life choices even if they would not have been your own.

As a third culture kid myself, whilst I could see the subliminal impact of being an other wherever you go, this was not the focal point of the story and loved that, because for us TKCs, that otherness, whilst ever present, is just a backstory and not the main plot. The aspect that I found most warranting of reflection is how do we love others, why do we love others and can we ever find real love in a world that seems to actively prepare us for everything but that.

I enjoyed the book and found it to be an easy style of writing, however I did not find it to be the type of book that I couldn’t put down. I can’t figure out why that is. So I have rated it 4 stars because I did enjoy it and it did get me to reflect on my own relationship with love.

This is a book to read if you love love, if you want a new look at love and if you are stuggling with love.

Content trigger warnings: Eating disorder, Rehab, Drug abuse, Addiction, Parental verbal abuse and Infidelity.